Me: It's surprisingly tight, considering.
Harry: That is mildly disappointing news!
Me: Mildly to moderately disappointing news is the only news I deliver.
Harry: At least tell me it's magical. Or 28 magical dog years old.
Me: I plucked it right off the snowman's head.
Harry: I'm glad that it is magical, but I don't see how that fits in with the show, therefore making this mildly disappointing as well.
Me: I am nothing if not mildly disappointing.
Harry: I would be disappointed with anything less.
Me: I will not be going to jail for painting octopi. I was so looking forward to being raped by a toothbrush. I am disappointed.
Harry: Chin up! Like they say, there is more than one way to get raped by a toothbrush!
Me: "Toothbrush Rape" would be a great name for a band.
Harry: So would "Toothbrush Rage."
Me: "Milli Vanilli Manila Gorilla" is another great band name.
I have a graduate certificate in platitudes, with a major in platy and a minor in dudes, which of course makes my major/minor "platydudes".
Harry: One time I did karaoke where me and another guy held microphones and lip-synced a Milli Vanilli song and two other guys hid under a table and did the actual singing.
Except it didn't work because we accidentally picked the wrong song number...
Of course this probably comes as no surprise to you, since those guys were dudes, and you know alllllllll about dudes.
Harry: I studied a little pit of platy but there was too much math for me.
Harry: There was a little bit of platy inside that little pit.
Harry: I take it you learned how to paint octopuses somewhere other than grad school, if what I have heard about dudes and octopuses is true.
Harry: Because I know it's a myth what they say about platys and puses.
Harry: Because I know it's a myth what they say about platys and puses.
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